Theory Behind the Family

  In class this week we discussed the topic of theories and how specific theories are applied to family relations. The world that we live in is defined by laws set, revealed truths, and compiled theories. Laws are rules set and formally recognized as a binding or enforced by a controlling authority. The truth is defined as in the scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 93:24 as the “knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come.” A theory is described as an idea or ideas that is intended to explain facts or events. 

    There is the exchange theory that talks about the balance of give and take. We have relationships because they are equally beneficial for both parties, but when it becomes parasitic we cut ties with that person. The conflict theory takes place when there are scarce resources that cause a societal struggle. This theory believes that society remains in order when there are those who are in power. Next we discussed the symbolic interaction theory that theorized that we formed meaning behind all social interactions. Which means everything you do or don’t do actually says something to those you are interacting with. Take for example, when someone waves hello to you on the street, you could either say hello back or not. If you choose to wave back it means that you are friendly and nice, but if you don’t you are deemed rude and lacking in some basic social skills. 

    Finally there is the family systems theory where it is believed that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. In this theory there are certain roles that certain members play in the family. Some of the roles include people who bring family together, the clown, the disrupter, or the provoker. When hearing those roles perhaps someone in your family came quickly to mind or maybe even you did. However, if you were like me none of these really fit yourself. In this theory sometimes roles are empty and they are filled or left empty by family members. However, roles are not prescribed and are filled without them needing to be said and set. This is just like the rules that are in place in the family systems theory. More often than not rules are in place and learned, because they are not spoken but unspoken rules that everyone in the family learns one way or another. Like in my family we have a couple of unspoken rules that come to mind. One of them being that unlike most car rides with family, we are not allowed to sing in the car when my Dad is driving. This rule was learned because when you start singing in the car he will quickly shut you down. Also in the car if my Dad was driving you already knew we will be listening to three CDs of Shania Twain, ABBA, and the Beach Boys on rotation until we got to our destination no matter how long the drive was. And trust me with this no singing rule, road trips were very long and strenuous. Another rule set by my family is that never let Dad catch you not doing something productive. When he would come from working off the farm randomly, and you weren’t doing anything you soon would be working in the fields. Even my mother knew of this rule and took pity on us by giving us children a warning like “he’s coming” and we all knew what that meant. Quickly pick something up near you and pretend that you are cleaning.