Marriage has a Nice "RING" to It...

    

    Now that you have officially beaten the dating game and have moved onto the engagement part of your relationship there are some things you still need to work on with your fiance. It is imperative that as a couple you use this time as an engaged couple to clarify your expectations of each other. Some clarifications that need to be made are those of what you expect the other to contribute to the relationship as a married couple. The wife might expect the husband to be the breadwinner while she becomes a stay at home mom. Or the husband might expect that they spend these set holidays with his family and the rest of them with the wife’s family. Now, I am not saying that these rules I just used as examples are bad, every relationship is different and if it works for them it works. However, what I am saying is that it is important to draw these lines now and to see if there are differences in beliefs before you commit to marriage. Things like where they spend the holidays are pretty open to suggestion, but the topic of how many kids they want or if they want kids at all are opinions that are less easily swayed. It would be better to find out now if you and your partner have differing opinions that you are not open to changing now before you are committed to them for eternity. 

If you are anything like me, then after hearing all the horror stories of trying to plan a wedding and all the stress that goes into it eloping with your fiance sounds like a pretty good plan. The way I see it is that in the end, the marriage is for the couple and the wedding is for everyone else in their lives. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of a big party that is thrown in my and my husband’s honor, but at what cost. The only reason I would have a reception is so that I can get more wedding presents to help me start my married life a little easier financially. However, the problem with elopement is that research has shown that the more people you have at your wedding, the longer the marriage. And while you are eloping, you do not really have a very long guest list. The wedding presents the opportunity for those who are important to the bride and groom to show that the couple has support as a couple, and not just as the individuals they have come to know. Another tidbit of information I have found out this week from class this week concerns the price of the engagement ring. Apparently, according to research spending more on the engagement ring is also linked to shorter marriages. The average being roughly around $2,500 spent on rings. It is speculated that bringing on the couple a big financial burden and unnecessary debt that early in the married relationship will add stress that might add to the result of divorce. However, this is not me supporting dirt cheap weddings, because more often than not it results in a very unhappy soon to be bride. I know a woman who was forced to be more than frugal with her own wedding and she looks back on the whole ceremony with a bad taste in her mouth. There is research that shows that if a woman can look back on a good engagement, the longer the marriage. I am absolutely not saying that her marriage is doomed or is any less fulfilling than any other, but it would be helpful when going through rough patches to look back on happy moments like your wedding to help you through.


I grew up in Homedale, Idaho in a family of ten with me falling as number eight in the line up. I graduated from high school in 2019 so I'm going into my third semester at BYUI. I am studying social work so I can work in adoptions after I graduate.

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