Family Culture

  When you hear the word culture, it is usually associated with the definition of the social behavior and norms found in human societies, as well as the knowledge, beliefs, arts, laws, customs, capabilities, and habits of the individuals in these groups. Which is thought of to be used on the more large scales like how to define this nation, that religious grouping, or good old stereotypes like perhaps country folk. However, while all these examples are true many people do not realize that cultures are also still very relevant on the small scale as well. This week we learned in class that families and their culture can vary a lot more than you would think even with families that fall under the same bigger culture. One of the examples my professor gave to demonstrate this idea is actually from his experience growing up in his own family. Professor William admitted that his family is one that is not very affectionate and does not say I love you to one another. However, one night he decided to tell his parents that he is happy that they are his parents and that he loves them. Instead of saying I love you back to their son like most families would, they replied that they are happy too that they are his parents. Later that night, his father knocked on the door to quickly and bashfully concede and say that they love him as well. This made Professor Williams ecstatic to even hear those few words no matter how awkward the delivery was. Soon saying I love you became a game to him because he could see and understand that showing that kind of affection that openly made his father feel uncomfortable. But after years and years of conditioning, his father now calls to check up on his son and just called to say I love you to him. Professor Williams was aware of his family culture back then and now realizes that he had the power to change his family culture. You just have to be willing to try. I can relate to Professor Williams family’s apprehension towards outwardly affection like that. My family is a no touch, personal space, say I love you only at the end of a phone call kind of family. If we all gathered in our living room and there was an open spot on the couch between two other people, you best believe my family would rather sit on the floor away from everyone else. If you are not immediate family and you say I love you to one of us, it is only a habit for us to look at one another with a confused look. Almost saying how awkward for them to say something like that to someone that is not their child, spouse, or sibling. I first realized that my family is perhaps a little more close off than most is when a friend of mind of multiple years made fun of me for knocking on their front door before entering. They thought it was completely unnecessary and ridiculous for me to ever knock and not immediately come inside because we were so close. So my habits changed accordingly to whenever I went over to this friend's house and vice versa. My family’s culture affected my friend as she learned that it was best to knock before entering my house. Culture is a funny thing, because like a fish that does not realize it was in water until it’s not, we do not notice our own culture until you are placed outside of it.